I don’t want to waste anymore time trying to “find myself” What’s the point? Life is too short to endeavour in such journey..surely my time is far better spent just living it. As for wisdom I’ve asked for it, I will seek it and hopefully in so doing It will complete me. There’s nothing wrong with being uncertain sometimes. My life is a journey and I will figure things out along the way, but as for “finding myself” I won’t embark in such useless journey, there’s simply no point. I’m always changing. The Me that I was last week is not the Me that I was yesterday. I’d much rather focus on being the best Me that I can be today.
I’m tired of being constantly undermined. I refuse to accept it. The moment they see what they think is a spot of weakness in you they start to take digs at it , once the digging starts they won’t stop until they destroy you, until you start to lack confidence and you begin to lose your voice. I absolutely can not let that happen.
What makes a person beautiful?
Don’t we all see the same thing?
What makes us see things differently?
How can what one person see as a masterpiece of great splendour and glory be seen as a pile of shit by another?
Surely We’re all seeing the same thing but just through different eyes?
A beautiful thing is still a beautiful thing no matter who sees it..surely?
Without God I am nothing
Useless, irrelevant, uncreative, boring, impossible to be around. Easily wound up, impatient, unholy, sinful, unable to love and be loved. Not able to show any signs of mercy, materialistic, shallow. ugly, incredibly insensitive, with complete disregards for any one else’s feelings but my own. Fake as hell, unforgiving, unapologetic, proud, boastful,vulgar unable to bridle my tongue. Hating, self hating, dirty minded thinking unimaginable things about myself and others around me. Screwing things up, not knowing when to stop, not knowing how to apologise not knowing how to take correction. Always wanting to talk never wanting to listen, not wanting to take advice never humbling self. Incredibly self conscious, a people pleaser. A puppet, not having any ambition of my own, robotic. Completely oblivious to the enemy’s devises allowing myself to be used by him. Trash talking, adulterous seducer with foul intentions, Using my mouth to curse and speak profanities, not wanting to build up only wanting, to pull down, uproot and destroy. Right back to square one, entertaining useless,petty, unedifying arguments, ungrateful, stuck up and arrogant,insensitive and rude not able to see the bigger picture. A liar and a thief. Unable to think outside the box, chained up. Bound. Imprisoned, filled with uncontrollable desires. Disgusting, incredibly selfish never considering, the health, safety and well being of others. Wanting something, wanting someone,not caring who I trample on and destroy to get it. Self loathing, self pity, self harm. Prayer-less Powerless. Receiving good things but not referencing God, becoming my own God. Being stubborn worshipping idols, worshipping money, pleasing myself at the expense of everyone else around me. Selfish ambition, wicked lover of worldly riches, decensitizing myself from everything spiritual, everything holy, everything Godly. Leaving myself open for attack, out in battle without armour. Crucifying the son of God afresh. Lost, messy, shaken, traumatised…
Without God I am nothing.
Sometimes you think you’re really really head over heels in love with someone but then they really piss you off one day to the point that you realise it wasn’t love.
It was just wind.
No matter what nail polish I use. Not matter how many layers of top coat I put on, no matter how careful I am… My nail polish always chips. Why? What have I done to deserve this?
I’m tired of life.
I was watching a comedy the other day, the name has completely slipped my mind. The couple in the movie had been married for such a long time that their sex lives became boring, ( well boring would be an understatement) it was like it was just another mindless part of their weekly routine, like doing the laundry or the dishes. There was no emotion, no foreplay, nothing. They were basically zombies, don’t even think the woman knew what an orgasm felt like anymore. Picture this, she even kept her retainers in whilst they were doing it. *shudders*
How did things even get that bad?
Then it had me thinking,
What if after the honeymoon and after the children, sex becomes another part of the weekly chores.
‘just get it done quickly so it can be out of the way’…
Then my mind began to wonder…After several years of marriage what could possibly make a man get sooo tired of his wife in the bedroom that it causes him to cheat? What could he possibly see in another woman that she doesn’t have? Surely all pu$$y is the same? I don’t believe any woman’s hole is different from the the next (forgive my vulgarity) yeah yeah no matter how much some women claim that their’s is lined with gold, yawnnn *eye roll*.
Apart from that, what’s the difference? Really? I don’t get it.
All pu$$y is the same.
Why not try spicing things up in the bedroom with your spouse instead? Dress up..strip tease? Something…anything? The bedroom is your oyster.